She Got The Gold Mine (I Got The Shaft)
If I were a divorce lawyer who wanted to start blogging… wait, wait, wait… tangent alert:
I am not a divorce lawyer. And by the way – double tangent alert - if I were, I’d be a “divorce lawyer”, not a “family law attorney”. What the hell is that anyway? Worst euphemism ever? Divorce ain’t all that great if you’ve got a family, by which I mean children. Why kid ourselves by pretending that you need a “family lawyer”… you need a divorce lawyer.
Divorce may be necessary, or it may be the best option you have available. Ubiquitous no-fault divorce makes better public policy than “let’s go to court and make up bad stuff about each other so we can get split up” divorce law. I am not saying there’s anything wrong with you getting a divorce. This sideline diatribe isn’t about moral judgments. Just pointing out that “divorce” and “family” are closer to antonyms than synonyms.
What I am saying: please don’t call me about divorcing your wife/husband/spouse. I don’t practice that kind of law. And I’m nowhere near sure about this, but I figure if the two of you can’t go to your local bookstore, buy a $20 how-to-do-your-own-divorce book (because they all end up the same anyway: wife gets custody of kids, man pays child support based on a pre-set table depending on his income), and figure it out on your own… then there’s already a problem.
And I don’t and won’t and can’t make myself care about Great Aunt Millie’s lampshade. I don’t care that Millie was her biological aunt but she liked you better and wanted you to have the lampshade. Do not call me about a potential divorce.
OK, now that you’ve staked the soul of your first born, or your Beamer - whatever it is that's most important to you - to the promise that you will not call me about a divorce, let me get back to the topic at hand…
So, if I were a divorce lawyer who wanted to start blogging, and wanted to have an interesting title for my blog, I’d think about using the title of the 1982 Jerry Reed hit “She Got the Gold Mine (I Got the Shaft)” as the name of my blog. Not sure anyone’s going to take creative blog naming advice from someone who thought about it for about two seconds and named his blog “Austin Criminal Defense Lawyer”, but, I’m throwing it out there, for what it’s worth. Free of charge; run with it. Here’s Jerry Reed and some lyrics:
Well, I tried to get in, she changed the lock.
Then I found this note taped on the mailbox that said,
"Goodbye, turkey. My attorney will be in touch."
So I decided right then and there I was gonna do what's right
Give 'er her fair share but, brother,
I didn't know her share was gonna be that much.
She got the goldmine… (She got the goldmine…)
I got the shaft. (I got the shaft.)
They split it right down the middle,
And then they give her the bigger half.
Well, it all sounds mighty funny,
But it hurts too much to laugh.
She got the goldmine, I got the shaft.
