Make no mistake: I’m not asking for kudos on this subject. I’ve long since passed the age of ‘grown man’ and probably should have been more vocal about it in the past. And I’ve too often let it go. But I’ve taken recently to openly confronting friends and casual acquaintances when they express themselves in ways that are ‘anti-gay’.
Just for context, we’re not talking about ignoring open hostility towards homosexuals, or expressing disgust at morons who use slurs and ugly epithets hoping that the listener expresses tacit or silent approval. You don’t see – or should I say ‘hear’ – that often, at least in Austin.
Austin is the only Austin in Texas. We are weird, for Texas – and that includes being less anti-gay than the rest of Texas.
A quick example.
Went to lunch with a couple folks awhile back, criminal defense lawyers, and somehow the subject of Gay Marriage came up – don’t remember how. Two distinct attitudes popped up:
- Hate the sin, love the sinner (but I’m not a bigot)
- ‘Gay Marriage’ isn’t about rights for gays, it’s about ‘legitimizing’ the gay lifestyle
I purposely started inserting the phrase ‘anti-gay’ into my responses to describe their views. Quick sidetrack: the purpose of phrasing it that way was (a) deliberately confrontational and (b) meant to make them feel uncomfortable. It worked.
‘Hate the Sin’ started insisting that he was not anti-gay. In fact, as a good Christian, he had formerly lived with gays, had friends that were gay, blah blah blah. He then went on to give me an analogy that would help me understand how not anti-gay he was:
- I’m against theft… but I defend thieves
- I’m against crack… but I take POCS cases
Exactly! You aren’t pro-theft, but you think everyone deserves a defense. You also think imprisoning drug addicts at taxpayers’ expense is stupid, and you defend possession of controlled substance charges, but you wouldn’t recommend smoking crack to your friends or family. That makes you…
- Anti-Theft and
Uh, so am I.
But Mr. “Hate the Sin” – if that’s your analogy for this conversation, then accept that you are anti-gay. Perhaps the description makes you uncomfortable, but you proved why it is dead on accurate. Some people are anti-theft and anti-crack. You are anti-theft, anti-crack and anti-gay. Your analogy makes no sense otherwise.
Actually got a little worked up writing that. I’ll have to post later on Mr. ‘Gay Rights is just a Cover for Legitimizing Homosexuality’.