Sure, my wife and 2 children have been out of town since Friday afternoon, and I have spent the weekend alone, so how could this have happened you ask?

It’s simple. Yesterday was Saturday, and tens of thousands of straight people got married all over the nation. Probably hundreds of thousands all over the world. You see this makes my marriage stronger.


But Jamie – you gasp – this always happens on Saturdays, doesn’t your marriage get better every week?


Yes of course it does, but yesterday was extra special because Proposition 8 passed in California, and therefore the natural strengthening of my marital bond by the unions of men and women I will never meet was not placed in mortal danger by the harmful effects of two men or two women marrying each other.


Others have addressed this important issue better than I could in the past. Take for example Chad Fifer’s reexamination a few years ago of his critique of the Bush administration’s War in Iraq. He came to realize that there were more important issues at hand:


For once, I’m in complete agreement with the Bush administration — marriage between a man and a woman must be protected at all costs. I know, I know — those of you who’ve read my previous critiques of George W. Bush are probably surprised by my stance on this issue.


You were probably expecting me to go on and on about the hundreds of young men and women who continue to get killed in Iraq because of Bush’s shady dealings and shitty diplomacy. But I’m sorry — when Rosie O’Donnell gets married TO ANOTHER WOMAN, all of those dead kids have to take a back seat.


Well said. I wish all of you – well, most of you, and I know you “others” know who I’m talking about – the best in celebrating this Family Values moment.