In bold, the search terms that Google Analytics tracked to my site:

Sect of liars – I belong to several different criminal defense lawyer associations, so it seems appropriate for me to rank highly for this term.

Bong hits for Satan – Turns out my wife was right.

Released from prison now what – like most questions, the answer is “it depends”. Tempted to say celebrate, but wait… are you on parole?

The baby who was gonna be split in half – Actually no. The baby was never in any danger.

Is marijuana an alien substance – God made pot; man made beer.

Prosecutorial “ethics” – Love, love, looooooove the quotation marks.

My ex does not pay his taxes – as long as he’s simply not filing, it’s only a misdemeanor. Surely you can come up with something better than that.

Al Gore should go to prison – Sure, global warming, global shwarming; biggest scam ever. But prison?

Bologna gravy – I hope you were looking for lyrics, and not a recipe.

Anyone who steals should be sent to prison no matter how small the thing is that they steal – Remind me to strike you from my next jury panel.

Are the police in the UK allowed to lie to you – Probably. But you should ask D.A.Confidential. Or Charon Q.C.

Is a criminal attorney and a defense attorney the same thing – to most people, yes.

And finally… Crappy lawyer – As predicted by Paul Walcutt, I now dominate Google for this search term.